Am I going to have a baby... or not?

Sorry to most of you this blog is going to sound depressing. I found out I was pregnant on June 24th.  It was a very happy moment. Waited ten and a half weeks before going to the doctor due to our vacation that we had planned already. Went to the doctor on August 9th. They did an ultrasound on my stomach and she said that the baby was measuring small. In my mind I was just thinking that I didn't get pregnant when I thought I did. Then she decided to do an interal ultrasound and it was the same as before... still small.  And to add to that no heart beat.  This was a shocker to me since I haven't had any problems.  No cramping, no bleeding and no spotting.  What does this all mean? My doctor started talking to us and explained that for whatever reason the baby stopped growing, but she would still like to do some blood tests to make sure she was not mistaken. She then told us that she was pretty sure it is going to be a miss carriage.  I wasn't crying at first... more shocked than sad I'd imagine at this point. Then came the tears and the questioning everything that has gone on in the last ten and a half weeks.
I was so confused why I miss carried with no cramping and no bleeding. What happened?  I guess I am not supposed to know anything other than there is no more baby.  It is probably for the better that I don't get the answers to everything. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for giving me the opportunity to not only get pregnant for the short time that I had been, but to have the support that I have through family, friends and the Spirit that has given me the comfort that I needed. It really helped when I thought and thought about what has happened.  Most of the time I was blamming myself for not being as careful as I was with Arlee, but then came to realize I don't know what caused the miss carry; but I do know that I am in good hands and will be comforted as I heal.
It really has made me appreciate having Arlee even more than I did before (which is beyond words of measurement).  She has been such a blessing in our lives and we couldn't be more blessed than to have her. When I would start to cry she would look at me and give me a smile, hug or start laughing and playing with me. Hans has been great too. He is such a supportive husband that really cares for me and my well being. I love them both so much and couldn't be more blessed to have them. 
When talking to the nurse today after the blood tests came back she said that my levels have decreased which means that I have for sure miss carried. I will be having a DNC to make sure everything is taken out.  I have been advised by people that have done the medication and the ones that have had the DNC to do the DNC.  I am taking their advice.  It will be done on August 25th.  After it is all said and done. We have been told to wait two months before trying for another baby.  I am not sure that I will be ready at this time, but we will see. 

Chelsey

California Vacation!!!

We just got back from vacation in California. We were able to buy a City Pass at Costco, which allowed us to do 3 days to Disneyland/ California Adventures, 1 day of Universal Studios, 1 day of Sea World and 1 day of either San Diego Zoo or the Wild Animal Park. It was a great vacation and it would be fun to do again minus Universal Studios (it was lame for the most part).  There was some really cool rides and shows there I have to say, but I would say the overall feel was a little bit short for me and Hans.

We were able to pawn Arlee off on my mom and my sister, Abbie- monsonmaddness.blogspot.com. We missed her so much, but we talked to her on the phone a few times to soften it. It is great that she talks on the phone now and it is so cute what kind of things she will respond to. Also to keep us from missing her too much we kept really busy. We had a lot to see in the short time that we were there. We would get home at the end of the day pretty late and wake up pretty early, to make the most of it. There was no movies at night as we would just fall asleep as soon as we would sit on the bed. Honestly it really was a lot of fun despite how tired we were.

Here are some pictures of our trip...

Disneyland:

This is on Splash Mountain. We got really wet this time and not on the second... I think you need to be in the front to get wet. Just an FYI

This a view from Tarzan's Tree house

This is in the submarine on the Nemo Ride (really dumb if you aren't a little kid BTW)

This is on Space Mountian

California Adventures:

This is at Hollywood Tower of Terror

Me in my "C" (Hans was so impressed that he got the picture captured while no one was in it) I have to say that I am too since it was so crowded.

Hans with the "N" since there wasn't a "H" and he has two "N's" in his name (HaNs JohaN Hoge)

Disneyland:

This is at the Fire Station in Disneyland (the people asked us if we were newlyweds and Hans said no, but I still feel like we are). Honestly 3yrs isn't that long.

We were waiting for the Fireworks in Disneyland to start (They make everyone stand up and then a lot of people put their kids up on their shoulders so they can see, which makes it hard for the people behind them. But at least the kids can see and we just have a partially obstructed view.)

California Adventures:

We saw the World of Color which was awesome!!!

Part of the show

Middle of Nowhere (Between California and Vegas):

This was the sunset that we had the gift of looking at while we sat in the horrible traffic getting into California with everyone else who was coming back from Vegas and then the Agriculture check too. AGH!

California Adventures:

Mr. Potato Head telling jokes while we waited to go on the awesome Toy Story ride in Cali. Adventures.

Waiting in line for Toy Story.

So Cute!!! Awwww... we got this picture for our nephew, Brock who loves this movie.

Mater

This is a thing that they use to do the animation. It spins and the figures are just a tiny bit different then the one next to it and so on... and then they use a strobe light to tie everything together. It was really cool!

Disneyland:

This is at Fantasmic... Not as cool as World of Color, but we still enjoyed it.

Buzz Lightyear talking while we were waiting to go on the Buzz Lightyear ride.

San Diego Zoo:

At the Zoo.  The camels humps were flopping all over the place. It was really weird since you know that people ride on those flopping things.... Think about it, makes a funny picture.

It was so crazy he came up righ to the window and just stared at everyone. Really cute though.

Universal Studios:

Jaws sight... We had Jaws attack us a couple of times

Me in front of Universal Studios

Hans in front of Universal Studios

Hollywood:

Went and saw the Walk of Fame before getting on the Freeway back to our hotel.

Thank goodness for our good gal pal, Joyce- our GPS (named her) we were able to find our way through the very narrow and curly, whurly, twisty, twurly streets. We were able to get some Germans to take our picture and I think they did pretty good.

Sea World:

This is Biff: He was hilarious!!! He was part of the sea lions show, Sea Lions Live

Sea Lions Live

Shamu Show. Didn't take too many pictures since we were so close to the action as you can see. : )

Shamu's wife before the show started.

Atlantis: A roller coaster ride at Sea World... really fun to go on.

Until next time... stay tuned for more of our life.

The Hoges

House Hunt Over!

As you know we have been looking for a house to buy. We have looked and looked and looked, but nothing is working out for us. With the budget that we can afford with me staying home, Hans working part-time while going to school we just have to make too many adjustments.  If it is the perfect lay out then the location is lacking or the other way around. Also another thing is that there was a house that we loved but way too much money that we would have to put into it to make it liveable.
Let me just say that Hans and I have totally called off the house hunt until he is done with school so we can get something that we don't have to adjust so much.  It is sad that we are going to have to rent some more, but it is going to be a lot better in the end. We are excited about the future house. Wherever and whatever it is going to be. Don't worry house we will get to you soon.  : )

Chelsey